Progress in Morocco…
I don’t know about other players but one of the things I hate to hear most from my coaches is that I am ‘close.’ See, I am not the most patient human on the planet so ‘close’ is too far. Suddenly, I get it.
If you are reading this, you probably know a little about me and my successes. I have had some great years in Europe, especially in 2016 when I won the LET Order of Merit and golf seemed rather easy…then it wasn’t. I don’t know why and trust me I have spent HOURS wondering. I’ve thought of everything from Solheim pressure to bad karma to just plain forgetfulness. I have been on tour relatively successfully for 15 years and of course there are ups and downs but the down recently got me really really down. I often define myself based on my results so the last couple years, I have felt like a pretty useless person. How could something that was so simple, rewarding and fun have turned into something that was impossible, draining and emotionally exhausting in what felt like a matter of minutes? If you think I am going to tell you the answer to that question then apologies because I still don’t know. What I do know is I finally feel like I see a light at the end of the tunnel. The superstitious insane golfer inside me is afraid to even share this as it might be a jinx but f*ck it because I am excited.
Maybe step one was Jordan. I wrote in my previous blog how much I enjoyed playing The Jordan Mixed Open with the guys and looking back it was probably the first time in a long time I had fun playing tournament golf. I went home, recharged the batteries a couple days then headed down to London for a Tony Robbins seminar (yes I walked on hot coals barefoot.) That followed by some heat in Edinburgh that resulted in some good practice, a productive chat with my mental coach Karl Morris and a simple lesson with my coach Ian Rae that merely involved the position of my hands all together finally made me feel like I could get somewhere.
I arrived in Morocco for the first time since 2016 and I felt calm and just ready for what golf was going to give me that week. Karl gave me a target to hit 48 greens and I felt Ian gave me the perfect swing thought to make that happen. My first two rounds were ok. I was happy to comfortably make the cut and was so pumped to make a charge on the weekend because I knew I could. Perhaps a little too fired up Saturday as I three putt the first two holes! I got back to level par through 15 holes and then bogied my last three and left feeling defeated, sadly a feeling that I have been familiar with recently. Sunday I woke up before my 5 am alarm feeing energised and just grateful for the opportunity to play and finally I felt like myself on the course again. I had 7 birdies in the final round and had -4. Yes, it could’ve been better but it felt really good to get some momentum again. I hit my 48 green target on the head and I am proud I moved up a little on the board to finish 24th. There was a time where that was a mediocre finish for me but this time t-24 means progress.
I am in Dubai now for a new event but the same grateful feeling.
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